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Gentle ways to support your child if they are being bullied at school

MY CHILD IS BEING BULLIED – 7 PROVEN WAYS TO SUPPORT THEM (THAT REALLY HELP)

INTRODUCTION

My child is being bullied — if you’ve found yourself searching these words, your heart is likely heavy with worry. As a parent, there is nothing more painful than seeing your child hurt, excluded, or frightened.

As a counsellor, I have supported many parents facing this exact situation. I’ve listened to children who feel confused, anxious, and unsure of themselves after being bullied. I’ve also seen how gentle, steady support from a parent can help a child regain their confidence and sense of safety.

If your child is being bullied, please know this: you are not alone, and there are calm, practical ways to help them through this difficult experience.

Signs my Child Is Being Bullied

Sometimes a child may not say directly, “I am being bullied,” but there are signs to look out for:

  • Sudden reluctance to go to school
  • Changes in mood or behaviour
  • Loss of confidence
  • Complaints of feeling unwell

If you suspect your child is being bullied, these signs can help you step in early and offer support.


1. Listen Calmly and Without Panic

When your child shares that they are being bullied, your first reaction might be anger or fear — which is completely natural.

However, try to remain calm.

Your child needs:

  • A safe space
  • A listening ear
  • Reassurance

You might say – I’m really glad you told me. I’m herewith you.”

When a child is being bullied, feeling heard is the first step toward healing.


 2. Reassure Them It’s Not Their Fault

Children often internalise bullying. They may believe:

  • “It’s something about me”
  • “I deserve this”

Gently remind them:
“This is not your fault.”

This is especially important when your child is being bullied, as it protects their self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.


 3. Help Them Name Their Feelings

Bullying brings up big emotions:

  • Fear
  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • Confusion

Helping your child put words to these feelings can reduce overwhelm.

You might say: “That sounds really upsetting. Were you feeling sad or maybe a bit scared?”

If you’re supporting a child being bullied, emotional awareness is a powerful tool.


4. Build Their Confidence Gently

When a child is being bullied, their confidence often takes a knock.

This is where small daily encouragement matters:

  • Praise effort, not perfection
  • Highlight their strengths
  • Encourage activities they enjoy.
  • When my child is being bullied, rebuilding confidence takes time, patience, and reassurance.

 5. Teach Simple, Safe Responses

Children don’t need complicated strategies.

Simple phrases can help:

  • “Please stop”
  • “I don’t like that”
  • Walking away

When my child is being bullied, having a small plan can help them feel more in control.


 6. Work With the School

If your child is being bullied, it’s important not to handle this alone. Schools have a responsibility to ensure children feel safe and supported.

When a child is being bullied, working together with teachers and staff can make a real difference in resolving the situation calmly and effectively.

Keep communication calm and focused on your child’s wellbeing.

You are your child’s advocate — and your voice matters.


 7. Support Their Emotional Recovery

Even after the bullying stops, your child may still feel:

  • Anxious
  • Wary of others
  • Less confident

Gentle support is key:

  • Keep routines steady
  • Offer reassurance
  • Spend calm time together

 A story can also help children process feelings in a safe way:
Murphy Helps with Worries – a gentle story to support anxious children
Explore here:  where you will find all my books HERE

 Amazon link MURPHY HELPS WITH WORRIES


 You May Also Find This Helpful

 Why Does My Child Have No Friends?

This can gently support children who feel isolated or excluded.


 Final Thoughts

If your child is being bullied, it can feel overwhelming and frightening.  But with calm, consistent support, children can regain their confidence, feel safe again, and learn that they are valued and loved.

You don’t have to fix everything overnight.

Just being there — listening, reassuring, and gently guiding — makes a powerful difference.


 Free Support for Your Child

To gently support your child at home, you can download a calming activity here:

Free Murphy Colouring Page

A simple activity like colouring can help children relax and feel safe.

You may also find this helpful  10 CONFIDENCE ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS THAT REALLY WORK