INTRODUCTION - ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR KIDS
Anger management for kids is something I’ve supported through my counselling work with children and families, and I can tell you this — anger is not the problem
It’s what a child does with that anger that matters.
I have sat with many parents who felt overwhelmed, saying things like:
“My child just explodes… I don’t know how to help them.”
And I gently remind them:
Behind every angry child is often a child who feels hurt, frustrated, or out of control.
Children don’t yet have the words or tools to manage big emotions — and that’s where we step in.
If we can teach them safe, healthy ways to express anger, we give them a skill that will help them for life.
1. Help Your Child Understand Their Anger
Before a child can manage anger, they need to recognise it.
My free worksheet “How Murphy Controls His Anger Now” is perfect for this. It helps children notice signs like:
- Body feeling hot
- Heart beating fast
- Wanting to shout or run away
This awareness is the first step to self-control.
2. Teach the “Pause and Breathe” Technique
One of the simplest but most powerful tools is:
STOP + BREATHE
This is exactly what Murphy models:
- Stop and stay still
- Take 3 slow deep breaths
- Think: “I can stay calm”
Children need practice with this when calm — not just in the middle of a meltdown.
3. Replace Hurtful Actions with Safe Choices
Anger often leads to behaviours like:
- Hitting
- Shouting
- Throwing things
But we can gently guide children toward better choices:
- Use kind hands
- Ask for help
- Talk about feelings
- Calm their body
This “I used to… but now I can…” approach (from the worksheet ) is incredibly powerful.
It builds confidence and responsibility.
4. Give Your Child Words for Their Feelings
Many children act out because they don’t have the language to express what’s happening inside.
Try simple phrases like:
- “I feel angry because…”
- “I don’t like that…”
- “I need help…”
As a counsellor, I’ve seen how giving a child just a few emotional words can dramatically reduce outbursts.
Words reduce explosions.
5. Create a Personal Calm-Down Plan – Anger Management for Kids.
Every child is different.
My worksheet includes a wonderful section:
“My Calm-Down Plan – draw or write what helps YOU calm down”
This is where real change happens.
Some children may choose:
- Quiet time
- Drawing
- Deep breathing
- Sitting with a parent
When a child owns their calm-down plan, they are far more likely to use it.
A Gentle Word About Anger
Anger is not something we need to remove from a child.
It is something we need to guide.
In my counselling work, I’ve seen children transform when they realise:
“I can feel angry… and still choose to be calm.”
That one belief can change everything.
Helping Your Child Further
If your child struggles with big emotions, you may find my book helpful:
Murphy Helps with Big Feelings
My shop here)
Also available on Amazon
Amazon link here
Free Download for Your Child – Anger management for kids.
To support your child, I’ve created a gentle, practical worksheet:
PRESS DOWNLOAD HERE: “How Murphy Controls His Anger Now”
This includes:
- Understanding anger signals
- Calm-down techniques
- A personal calm plan
- Daily positive affirmation
Perfect for home or classroom use.
🔗 Helpful Reads for Parents
You may also find these helpful:
- 7 Powerful ways to Help a Child with Anxiety Feel Calm
- 5 Simple Confidence Exercises for Kids That Actually Work
🌿 Final Thoughts – Anger Management for kids
Helping a child with anger is not about control — it’s about connection.
When a child feels understood, safe, and guided, their anger softens.
And over time, they begin to trust themselves.
Small steps matter:
- One deep breath
- One calm choice
- One kind word
These are the moments that build emotional strength.
And you, as a parent, are doing something incredibly important:
You are teaching your child how to handle life
