INTRODUCTION -CALMING TOOLS FOR KIDS
Calming tools for kids can give children something simple and practical to turn to when big feelings begin to take over. When your child is angry, worried, frustrated or overwhelmed, it can be difficult for them to explain what they need — and simply telling them to “calm down” rarely helps.
During my years working as a counsellor, I supported many children who struggled to manage strong emotions. One thing I learned was that children often cope better when they are given practical strategies they can actually do, rather than being expected to talk themselves out of how they feel.
The encouraging news is that emotional regulation is something children can learn. With patience, practice and the right support, they can gradually begin to recognise their feelings and discover what helps their body and mind settle.
In this article, we’ll explore 10 calming tools for kids that you can introduce gently at home to help your child feel safer, calmer and more in control.
Why Calming Tools Can Help Children With Big Feelings
When children become overwhelmed, the thinking part of the brain can temporarily take a back seat while the body’s stress response takes over.
That is why reasoning, questioning or giving lots of instructions during an emotional moment may not work very well.
A calming tool gives the child something simple to focus on instead.
It might involve:
- slowing their breathing
- using their senses
- moving their body
- squeezing or holding something
- expressing their feelings
- focusing their attention on the present moment
The aim isn’t to make uncomfortable emotions disappear. It is to help children learn that big feelings can be managed safely.
If you would like more ideas, you may also find my pillar article 10 Calming Activities for Kids That Actually Work (Simple and Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Feel Calm helpful.
1. A Glitter Calm-Down Jar
A glitter jar can be a wonderful visual calming tool.
Fill a clear plastic bottle or jar with water and glitter. When your child feels overwhelmed, let them gently shake it and watch the glitter slowly settle.
You might say:
“Let’s watch the glitter settle while we give our body a little time to settle too.”
There is no pressure for your child to become calm immediately. Simply sitting and watching can provide a gentle distraction while their nervous system has time to slow down.
2. A Stress Ball or Squeeze Toy
Some children need to release physical tension when emotions become intense.
A soft stress ball, squishy toy or even a rolled-up pair of socks can provide a safe way to squeeze that tension out.
Encourage your child to:
- squeeze slowly
- hold for a few seconds
- release
- repeat several times
This can be especially useful for children who clench their fists when angry or become physically restless when anxious.
3. A Breathing Buddy
Deep breathing is one of the simplest calming tools for kids, but younger children may find the idea of “taking deep breaths” difficult to understand.
Try turning it into something they can see.
Ask your child to lie down and place a favourite teddy or soft toy on their tummy. Encourage them to breathe slowly and watch their “breathing buddy” gently rise and fall.
This makes breathing feel more like a game than an exercise.
4. A Feelings Chart
Children cannot always put their emotions into words.
A simple feelings chart with faces showing emotions such as happy, worried, sad, angry, frustrated and scared can help.
Instead of asking:
“What’s wrong?”
try saying:
“Can you show me which face feels most like you right now?”
Recognising and naming emotions is an important step towards learning to regulate them.
5. A Calm-Down Box
A calm-down box is one of my favourite practical calming tools for kids because you can personalise it completely for your child.
You might include:
- a stress ball
- colouring pencils
- a small notebook
- bubbles
- a favourite photograph
- sensory toys
- positive affirmation cards
- a small soft toy
Keep the box somewhere your child can easily reach.
Most importantly, don’t present it as a punishment. It should be something comforting that your child chooses to use when they need help settling.
6. Murphy’s Big Feelings Support
Stories can also help children understand emotions because they allow them to see a character experiencing feelings similar to their own.
If you’d like to continue supporting your child at home, my children’s book Murphy Helps with Big Feelings gently helps young children understand difficult emotions through Murphy’s story.
Rather than giving children a lesson about emotions, stories can open up natural conversations such as:
“Have you ever felt like Murphy?”
or
“What do you think helped Murphy feel better?”
ou can find Murphy Helps with Big Feelings on my shop HERE
or on Amazon HERE
7. Bubbles for Slow Breathing
Something as simple as a pot of bubbles can become a useful calming tool.
The trick is to encourage your child to blow slowly.
Fast, sharp breaths tend to burst the bubble before it forms, whereas a long, gentle breath creates a bigger bubble.
You can say:
“Let’s see how slowly we can blow this one.”
Your child is practiCing controlled breathing without it feeling like a therapeutic exercise.
8. A Sensory Basket
Some children find sensory experiences particularly soothing.
Create a small basket containing different safe textures and objects your child can explore.
For example:
- a fluffy piece of fabric
- a smooth pebble
- a soft toy
- a sensory ball
- play dough
- a feather
Encourage your child to notice how each object feels.
This brings their attention away from racing thoughts and towards what they can see, touch and feel in the present moment.
9. Colouring and Drawing
Never underestimate a simple box of crayons.
Colouring and drawing can give children a quiet way to express themselves when talking feels difficult.
You don’t need to ask lots of questions about their picture either.
Simply sitting beside them and saying:
“I’m here if you want me.”
can be enough.
You might also invite them to draw what their worry, anger or sadness looks like. There are no right or wrong answers.
For more ways to help children develop these skills over time, read Self-Regulation Activities for Kids: 10 Powerful Ways to Build Calm and Control.
10. Create a Calm Choice Card
When children are already overwhelmed, remembering what helps them can be difficult.
A simple “calm choice card” can solve this.
Together, choose three or four strategies your child likes and draw or write them on a card.
For example:
When I have a big feeling, I can:
- cuddle my teddy
- take five slow breaths
- squeeze my stress ball
- colour a picture
- sit in my calm space
Let your child help choose the options.
Giving children some control over their calming strategies can make them much more willing to use them.
How to Introduce Calming Tools When Your Child Is Already Calm
One of the most important things to remember is that the best time to introduce calming tools for kids is usually beforethe meltdown happens.
Explore them together when your child is relaxed.
You might say:
“Sometimes everybody has really big feelings. Shall we find a few things that might help when that happens?”
Let your child experiment.
One child may love sensory toys while another prefers drawing, movement or quiet breathing. There is no single calming technique that works for every child.
The goal is to gradually help your child build their own little emotional toolkit.
Free Murphy Colouring Page
Sometimes a quiet activity is exactly what a child needs after a busy or emotional day.
I’ve created a Free Murphy Colouring Page (down load HERE) that your child can enjoy at home. Colouring can provide a simple opportunity to slow down, focus and enjoy some peaceful time without pressure.
Final Thoughts – Calming Tools for Kids
Big emotions are a normal part of childhood. Children aren’t born knowing how to manage frustration, worry, disappointment or anger — these are skills they gradually learn through experience, practice and supportive relationships.
You don’t need ten different strategies every time your child becomes upset. Start with one or two that seem to suit your child and practise them during calm moments.
Over time, your child can begin to recognise:
“I’m getting upset — and I know something that might help me.”
That is a powerful skill to carry into later childhood and eventually adulthood.
By gently introducing calming tools for kids, you are not trying to remove every difficult emotion from your child’s life. You are helping them learn that big feelings can come, big feelings can pass, and they have safe and healthy ways to cope with them.
