INTRODUCTION
A child being bullied can leave any parent feeling heartbroken, worried, and unsure how best to respond. As a counsellor, I have supported many families navigating this painful experience. One parent once shared how their child began dreading school, becoming quiet and withdrawn, unsure how to explain what was happening. It is never easy to watch your child go through this.
If your child is being bullied, please know this—you are not alone, and there are gentle, practical ways you can support and protect your child during this time.
1. Listen Calmly and Without Judgment
When a child is being bullied, they may feel embarrassed or afraid to speak up. Your response matters deeply.
Try to:
- Stay calm
- Listen fully
- Avoid interrupting
Let your child know they are safe to share.
2. Reassure Your Child It’s Not Their Fault
Children often blame themselves when they are being bullied.
Gently remind your child being bullied:
- They have done nothing wrong
- They deserve kindness and respect
- You are there to support them
This helps rebuild their sense of safety.
When Bullying Damages a Child’s Self-Worth
Children who are bullied sometimes begin to believe the hurtful messages they hear. They may say things like, “Nobody likes me,” or “I don’t have any friends.”
If your child is struggling with these thoughts, you may find our article Child Says Nobody Likes Me – 7 Powerful Ways to Build Confidence and Hope encouraging. It shares gentle ways to help children challenge these beliefs and regain a healthier sense of self-worth.
3. Encourage Open Communication
Keep communication ongoing. A child being bullied at school may need time before fully opening up.
Try asking:
- “How are things going today?”
- “Is there anything worrying you?”
These gentle questions help your child feel supported.
When Your Child Feels They Don’t Fit In
Sometimes bullying can leave a child feeling excluded or different from their peers. They may struggle to find their place socially and begin withdrawing from friendships or group activities.
If this sounds familiar, you may find our article Why Your Child Struggles to Fit In – 7 Powerful and Gentle Ways to Help Them useful. It explores some common reasons children feel disconnected and offers practical ways parents can help them build stronger social confidence and a sense of belonging.
4. Work with the School
You don’t have to handle this alone. If your child is being bullied, it is important to involve the school.
You can:
- Speak with the teacher
- Request a meeting
- Ask about safeguarding procedures
Schools have a responsibility to ensure your child’s safety.
Need help speaking to the school?
Many parents tell me they know they should contact the school but feel anxious about saying the wrong thing or not being taken seriously. If you’re unsure how to begin the conversation, I’ve written a detailed guide:
How to Talk to Your Child’s School About Bullying – 9 Essential Steps to Get the Right Support.
It explains how to prepare for meetings, what information to bring, the questions to ask, and how to work positively with the school to help your child feel safe again.
When You Discover Your Own Child Has Been Bullying Someone Else
Sometimes conversations with the school take an unexpected turn. Instead of confirming that your child has been bullied, staff may tell you that your child has been involved in bullying another pupil.
Hearing this can come as a real shock. You may feel upset, defensive, confused, or even guilty. However, it’s important to remember that bullying behaviour does not define who your child is. Children can learn healthier ways to manage emotions, solve conflicts, and build respectful friendships when they receive calm guidance and consistent support.
If you find yourself in this situation, I’ve written a separate guide called What to Do If Your Child Is Bullying Others: 7 Positive Ways to Change Behaviour. It explains practical, compassionate ways to address the behaviour, work alongside the school, and help your child develop empathy, responsibility, and kinder relationship skills.
5. Build Your Child’s Confidence
Bullying can impact confidence. Supporting your child emotionally is key.
Encourage:
- Activities they enjoy
- Positive friendships
- Small achievements
Helping a child being bullied rebuild confidence takes time, but it is possible.
Children often need ongoing encouragement after the bullying has stopped. While protecting them is the first priority, gently rebuilding their confidence is equally important. Confidence rarely returns overnight, but with patience, small successes, and consistent reassurance, children can learn to believe in themselves again.
If you’re looking for practical ways to support this journey, you may find my guide How to Rebuild a Child’s Confidence After Bullying – 7 Easy and Simple Steps helpful. It shares gentle, realistic strategies that parents can use every day to help children regain their self-belief, develop resilience, and begin enjoying life with confidence once more.
Bullying Can Affect More Than Confidence
Many parents notice changes in their child’s confidence after bullying, but the emotional effects often run much deeper. Anxiety, sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, and difficulty trusting others can all develop quietly over time.
If you would like to understand the longer-term emotional impact, you may find our article The 7 Hidden Effects of Bullying on a Child’s Mental Health helpful. It explains some of the less obvious ways bullying can affect children and offers practical guidance on helping them heal and rebuild confidence.
Helping Your Child Recover Emotionally After Bullying
Even after the bullying has stopped and your child begins to feel safer, emotional healing often takes much longer. Some children continue to worry about going to school, avoid social situations, become unusually quiet, or seem less like themselves. Others may appear happy on the outside while still carrying fear, sadness, or self-doubt inside.
As a counsellor, I worked with many families who believed everything would quickly return to normal once the bullying ended. In reality, many children first needed time, patience, and gentle emotional support before they could fully regain their confidence and sense of security. Healing is rarely immediate, but with the right support, children can recover.
If you’re looking for practical ways to support your child’s emotional wellbeing, you may find my guide How to Help a Child Recover Emotionally After Bullying: 7 Proven Steps That Really Work helpful. It shares gentle, practical strategies to help children process difficult emotions, rebuild their sense of safety, regain trust, and move forward with greater confidence and resilience.
6. Use Stories to Help Your Child Feel Understood
Stories can gently help children process difficult emotions.
A helpful resource is:
Murphy Helps with Big Feelings – Turning Anger into Calm which can be purchased HERE
Also here at AMAZON
Stories can reassure a child being bullied that they are not alone and that their feelings matter.
Before we look at how to support your child, it can really help to understand what to look out for. Here are the key signs a child is being bullied that every parent should know.
7 WARNING SIGNS A CHILD IS BEING BULLIED (EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW)
While many parents focus on stopping the bullying itself, it is equally important to understand the emotional impact bullying can have on a child. The effects are often hidden beneath the surface and may include anxiety, low self-esteem, loneliness, anger, and difficulty trusting others. If you would like to learn more about how bullying affects a child’s mental health and confidence, you may find our article The 7 Hidden Effects of Bullying on a Child’s Mental Health helpful. It explores the emotional wounds bullying can leave behind and how parents can support their child’s recovery and resilience.
7. Teach Calm Coping Strategies
When emotions feel overwhelming, simple techniques can help.
Try:
- Deep breathing
- Quiet time
- Creative activities
These are gentle ways of helping a bullied child manage stress and anxiety.
Helpful Support for Parents
If your child is being bullied, these resources may also help:
How to help an anxious child: 7 POWERFUL WAYS TO FEEL CALM
Calming activities for kids:
If the school has told you that your child has been bullying another pupil, you may also find this guide helpful:
What to Do If Your Child Is Bullying Others: 7 Positive Ways to Change Behaviour
10 CALMING ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS
Explore all my children’s emotional wellbeing books here:
MURPHY’S BRAVE & CALM SERIES
Gentle Activity to Support Your Child
Creative activities can help a child being bullied express emotions safely.
Download a gentle activity here:Free colouring page: HERE
Continue Supporting Your Child
Healing after bullying is often a journey rather than a single conversation. As your child begins to feel safer, you may also find my guide How to Rebuild a Child’s Confidence After Bullying – 7 Easy and Simple Steps helpful. It offers practical, encouraging ways to restore confidence, resilience, and hope one small step at a time.
Helping Your Child Make Friends Again After Bullying
Although the bullying may have ended, many children continue to struggle socially. They may become nervous around other children, avoid joining in at school, or worry that new friendships will end the same way as before. This is a very common response, and it doesn’t mean your child will always feel this way.
As a counsellor, I often met parents who were relieved the bullying had stopped but were concerned because their child no longer wanted to mix with friends or take part in activities they once loved. Rebuilding trust takes time, but with gentle encouragement and positive experiences, children can learn to enjoy friendships again.
If you’re looking for practical ways to help your child make friends again after bullying, you may find my guide “7 Powerful Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends Again After Bullying“ helpful. It shares simple, confidence-building strategies to help children reconnect with others, develop healthy friendships, and feel safe taking those important social steps again.
Final Thoughts
Supporting a child being bullied can feel overwhelming, but your calm presence, understanding, and guidance will make a meaningful difference. Over time, your child can begin to rebuild confidence, feel safer, and learn that they are valued and supported.
As a counsellor, I have seen how even the smallest steps—listening, reassuring, and gently guiding—can help a child move from fear toward confidence and strength.
